little miss prim and proper (primroseshows) wrote in primrosegallery,
little miss prim and proper

EXO-M: RE: kr1s b-d@y!!!

Entirely for my own amusement, I wrote a chat!fic for EXO-M. All complaints and questions can therefore be directed to this gal right here >:D
PS. this takes place in China, so the room arrangements are Chen & Kris, Lu Han & Lay, Xiumin & Tao. The handle names will make sense if you are as obsessed with EXO-M as I currently am, so..... they probably won't make sense. OTL it's easy to figure out though!!

Fandom: EXO (EXO-M)
Rating: G
Pairings: none
Words: ~2,600

dancinmachin has logged on.
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reddevilsGO: is he asleep??
dancinmachin: yup
reddevilsGO: did u double check? smtms he'll just have his eyes closed the faker
dancinmachin: ???
how do i check...
reddevilsGO: if u mess with his face cream bottles. make noise!!!
dancinmachin: do i look like i wanna die!
i'm not doing that!!
reddevilsGO: yes do it!!!
dancinmachin: what if i just blew on his face or something?
or farted in his face kukuku
reddevilsGO: oh!!! fearless!!!
dancinmachin: kidding~
sixteenth_notes: alternatively, you can call his name
reddevilsGO: no omg what if he is asleep but he wakes up!
sixteenth_notes: he probably won't wake up
just don't be too loud, don't scare him awake
is that okay?
dancinmachin: uhhhhh hmmmm
reddevilsGO: or lets just wait until he starts sleeptalking?
minseok n tao arent online yet either
sixteenth_notes: should I give them a call? or knock on their door?
dancinmachin: lol call them
sixteenth_notes: okay~

romantickungfupandataozi has logged on.
romantickungfupandataozi has been added to the conversation.
huoguohungry has logged on.
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romantickungfupandataozi: is duizhang asleep
dancinmachin: yea
reddevilsGO: we dont know! jd wont check
romantickungfupandataozi: what if he is faeking
reddevilsGO: thats what i said!!
romantickungfupandataozi: bc sumetimes he faeks to avoid work
dancinmachin: he's asleep!!! i'm STARING at him. he's asleep
huoguohungry: you should call his name?
sixteenth_notes: that's what I said
dancinmachin: ok FINE
reddevilsGO: no wait!
hold on
think of a lie first, if he asks why u woke him up
yo, chen

huoguohungry: did he die? did kris kill him?
sixteenth_notes: he's probably talking to him now. lu's right, should have thought of a lie first
tao, maybe you can put your ear to the wall? see if you can hear voices
romantickungfupandataozi: k
huoguohungry: ureowaijjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjaa
he climbed over me
and kneed my keyboard
reddevilsGO: wait but tao's bed is the one next to the right wall
u 2......
hugging practise again?
huoguohungry: yoga actually TT__TT
were watching vids on tudou demonstrating rly hard poses
it's painful~~ ;A;
sixteenth_notes: you should start at an easier level
tao's too flexible
his bones are made of elastic
reddevilsGO: lol
remember the time when vic unnie was teaching him how to do the splits
and his pants ripped bc he went too far~
huoguohungry: i remember that!
wasn't he wearing leopard print underwear??
reddevilsGO: YES LOL
sixteenth_notes: he told me once nice underwear makes his butt feel "richer"
i assume he meant "more comfortable"
huoguohungry: he does have a nice butt :(
i'm looking at it right now and it is nice kk
reddevilsGO: >:D
what type underwear
huoguohungry: CK black
reddevilsGO: boring~
huoguohungry: and he can hear voices btw
he's diligently listening in with a cup
reddevilsGO: see!!! faking!!!!!!
sixteenth_notes: maybe jongdae did accidentally wake him up
huoguohungry: tao says "they're talking about fan presents
reddevilsGO: omg??? hes gonna give us away!!!!
sixteenth_notes: ah? he'll give us away
reddevilsGO: D:<
huoguohungry: oh, it stopped?
huoguohungry: the conversation stopped apparntklajfslkkjkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
he climbed over me again
reddevilsGO: ZITAO
romantickungfupandataozi: they were talkin about fan prezent
huoguohungry: i told them already
romantickungfupandataozi: i dint get all of it
they were talking to fast :( :(
reddevilsGO: aw yeah we shouldve asked minseokie to listen

dancinmachin: omg
that was
reddevilsGO: did u give us away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dancinmachin: a really awkward talk
reddevilsGO: omg
sixteenth_notes: does he suspect anything?
dancinmachin: it was very awkward
huoguohungry: why did you talk about presents, you idiot!! now he'll guess what we're up to!
dancinmachin: i had to improvise on the spot!! its' not my strong suit
huoguohungry: not your strong suit?? you're lead singer!
dancinmachin: i'm not LEAD TALKER you bastards
okay but i dont think he suspects ?
he was just about asleep when i woke him up :T
reddevilsGO: sigh....
dancinmachin: not my fault!!!!!!!
sixteenth_notes: what did he say?
dancinmachin: i was like, 'hyung, i was just wondering, what's ur fav kind of fan present?'
huoguohungry: ooooohhh not bad not bad
dancinmachin: BUT he gave me a really strange look
and said all fan presents were good in their own way
reddevilsGO: wahhh cop out
dancinmachin: and i was like 'ahhhh...okay' sry for disturbign you
and then he went all 'we shoudl be thankful for all the gifts we get'
i am though!!
huoguohungry: dw we know you are
dancinmachin: now he thinks im shallow??
sixteenth_notes: no no, he doesn't
romantickungfupandataozi: but why does he talk liek that
is he saying he lieks getting junkfood gifts as much as getting toys
when we'r not even alloud to eat the food
sixteenth_notes: he says those things because he actually believes cheesy stuff like that
it's admirable
especially considering how many gifts he gets
huoguohungry: woooow~~ that's cool
dancinmachin: cool cool
sixteenth_notes: if you think about it he's being stupid with that answer though
you can apprecaite all the gifts equally
but like some things more than others. that's a normal aspect of humanity
nothing to be ashamed of -- and he doesn't need to be neutral in private
reddevilsGO: yixing!! so cool! ^^
sixteenth_notes: *appreciate
huoguohungry: very cool
romantickungfupandataozi: PLUSHY GIFTS R THE BEST THO???
huoguohungry: i like the art best actually!~~
dancinmachin: i like the handmade crafts.. like when they make keychains
romantickungfupandataozi: ................. but th eplushys
lets just get him some plushys!
huoguohungry: is he asleep again? jongdaenim~
dancinmachin: i'm not calling his name again. lets just talk in the living room!!!
reddevilsGO: no he'll hear! the walls r too thin
and what if he wakes up to go pee
dancinmachin: you guys' room then, it's far enough away
reddevilsGO: and sees us all gathered together
huoguohungry: we can avoid your bed keke
reddevilsGO: huang zitao wont!
romantickungfupandataozi: i wont hahah
sixteenth_notes: if we keep our voices low we can go to the living room
reddevilsGO: but jongdae was supposed to snoop around leader's desk!
dancinmachin: i don't remember signing up to do that !!!
but fine
but only because!
i want to find out
what he writes in his lyric notebook
no way they're actual lyrics
sixteenth_notes: you really are fearless
reddevilsGO: lol
romantickungfupandataozi: wait y not
huoguohungry: jongdae thinks he practises drawing in there
romantickungfupandataozi: the black one?
dancinmachin: the strokes of his hand when he writes in that thing!!! are not writing strokes!
yeh the black book, with the band around it
huoguohungry: how did you even notice that in the first place??
dancinmachin: i saw him laughing at himself once
and when he saw me laughing, he put the book away
reddevilsGO: omg whattt now i wanna know too!!~
sixteenth_notes: maybe it's a death note
reddevilsGO: LOL
we're all doomed in that case??
romantickungfupandataozi: ????
duizhang wuldnt kill me!!1
reddevilsGO: u first, maknae... bwahaha >:)
romantickungfupandataozi: no :((((((((((( why i'm to goodlooking to die
huoguohungry: jd go find that notebook!
reddevilsGO: but don't forget the number 1 priority is to get ideas for bday gifts!
dancinmachin: if it's a death note i'm keeping it
youre all dead tmr hehe
sixteenth_notes: i really think we should just get him clothes or jewelery
dancinmachin: i'm going solo kkkkkkk
sixteenth_notes: he's not going to be picky
romantickungfupandataozi: youd kill me too?!?! hyung!!
huoguohungry: boyz II chen~
reddevilsGO: clothes and whatever are boring tho~
LOLL minseokie!!
dancinmachin: aahaha
that's good, i'm gonna use that
sixteenth_notes: maybe we can get kris a CD. I know he likes american rap
dancinmachin: .....kanye west?
sixteenth_notes: maybe. i can't really remember...
reddevilsGO: chenchen can u find his ipod?
or maybe check his stack of english books, find a favourite author or smth
romantickungfupandataozi: im going to b extra nice to duizhang tommorow
dancinmachin: that's hard!! i can't read english very well
reddevilsGO: just match the letters! youll be fine~
dancinmachin: you come and do it then!
reddevilsGO: no :( im too scared
what if he wakes up and catches me
dancinmachin: what if he catches ME!!!
reddevilsGO: you can make up smth and be like 'i lost my lip chap and thought maybe i could borrow one of yours'
u share a room!
u have a reason to be in there!~ ^^
huoguohungry: you're a very good liar luhannie
i'm impressed!
sixteenth_notes: i disagree
he can make up lies in his head
but can't deliver them
he always starts laughing
reddevilsGO: but youre wrong bc actually im a great liar~ n___nV
huoguohungry: because your face is so innocent!! i'd believe anything you said!
reddevilsGO: <3 see! :P
^^ minseokie~
huoguohungry: i hope you've never lied to me however! :(
reddevilsGO: of course not~ id never lie to you~ <3
huoguohungry: :D
romantickungfupandataozi: you aer lying now!!!!!!!!!!
reddevilsGO: big talk! ur the biggest liar here huang zitao!
romantickungfupandataozi: what i'm not!!!
sixteenth_notes: i've yet to see you play an honest game of trivia
huoguohungry: good luck little soldier
fighting! ^^
sixteenth_notes: i suggested getting clothes...
reddevilsGO: fighting~~~
chenzi~ jia you~~
dancinmachin: wow so no one is goign to stop me? !!!
screw you dicks haha
romantickungfupandataozi: hyung if you find a black eyliner, that's mine
and i want it back

dancinmachin's status has been set to brb.

huoguohungry: you guys share eyeliner?? i don't think that's sanitary
sixteenth_notes: i hope you wipe it with alochol before using it
romantickungfupandataozi: no!!!!
sixteenth_notes: *alcohol
romantickungfupandataozi: it's new!!! duizhang stole it from me!!!
i got it from a coordi noona
reddevilsGO: ooh, what about makeup? makeup can be a good birthday present!
huoguohungry: .... i don't think it'd be a very original present....
reddevilsGO: i mean, besides bb cream, since he already has so much of that
huoguohungry: we should get him something that's not easily obtainable from the company
sixteenth_notes: more sleep, in that case
reddevilsGO: TTATT
we are not miracle workers............
huoguohungry: what if you ask manager to clear our schedule on the 6th??
reddevilsGO: hahahaha......
huoguohungry: haha........... .......
romantickungfupandataozi: hah
sixteenth_notes: if I ever do, I want you all to remember me fondly and with great respect, thank you very much
reddevilsGO: of course we will!!!!!
but don't ask please. there are better ways for a man to die

dancinmachin's status has been set to online.

dancinmachin: AAHHH HAHA
reddevilsGO: woah what????
dancinmachin: leopard-print briefs HA
reddevilsGO: AHH!!
huoguohungry: seriously?
romantickungfupandataozi: huh/.??
dancinmachin: lol yeah they were in one of his DESK DRAWERS like wtf right? hahaha
romantickungfupandataozi: is that where those got too
reddevilsGO: ZITAO
romantickungfupandataozi: i was wonderang
sixteenth_notes: please explain this one, i'm very curious
dancinmachin: me?
huoguohungry: no, zitao. those are tao's pants
dancinmachin: ?????????
ew i touched them!!!!
romantickungfupandataozi: i lost them like last month
theire washed!
i think
idk how they got to leader's desk drawrr
he can have them
there's a hoel in the
huoguohungry: elastic
romantickungfupandataozi: yeah
reddevilsGO: omg why does duizhang have them???
dancinmachin: :-|||||||||||
romantickungfupandataozi: i dont kno
dancinmachin: tsk
huoguohungry: maybe he found them with his laundry and just keeps on forgetting to give them back?
reddevilsGO: oh maybe!
dancinmachin: you two are so optimistic. gutsy, gutsy
sixteenth_notes: hold on
what else was in that drawer, jongdae?
dancinmachin: bandanas... gloves... scarves?? some empty package wrapping? some letters... i didn't touch those!
it was a mess
huoguohungry: D:
reddevilsGO: this is in a drawer of his DESK? what the
dancinmachin: well our closet is full
this was the bottommost drawer in his desk
don't think he uses it much
that's why i opened it first hah
sixteenth_notes: it's his junk drawer
reddevilsGO: omg
it must be his junk drawer
huoguohungry: for stuff he doesn't want to throw out?
sixteenth_notes: yes.
if you guys haven't noticed yet...
he's a hoarder
romantickungfupandataozi: HoarDer?? what is that in chinese
reddevilsGO: it means he can't bear to throw away things!!! like your holey underwear!
dancinmachin: wtf
romantickungfupandataozi: ohh
huoguohungry: wait, is he planning to fix them or something? stitch them up?
reddevilsGO: no! he doens't care about the holes! he keeps them for nostalgia and stuff!!!
romantickungfupandataozi: why didnt he ask me
i could buy him a new pair
huoguohungry: underwear for his birthday? LOL
actually that's not a terrible idea
sixteenth_notes: I suggested clothes. are my IMs not showing up?
reddevilsGO: they are
maybe we should get him something nostalgic too
like, idk
a photo album??
huoguohungry: his birthday's in two days! where are we going to find time to make a photo album for him???
dancinmachin: i can take some pics right now of him sleeping heh
reddevilsGO: :< i dont know ok
sixteenth_notes: I guess he must have kept tao's underwear because it reminds him of trainee days.
tao was very proud of that underwear
he boasted about that underwear
reddevilsGO: i remember~
dancinmachin: what's so great about that underwear??
romantickungfupandataozi: they were
one of the first things i bought with my oan incomme
100% hand made cotten!!!
they were very comfortabel~
dancinmachin: ooo
huoguohungry: still, it's a bit weird, isn't it?
keeping a member's underwear in a drawer........
without the member knowing
romantickungfupandataozi: i think i remember him scolding me
to do my landry??
and i dint want to bc my waist hurt
so he did it for me\ TT
maybe he asked me if i wanted to throw them out but i wasnt payin attntion TT
huoguohungry: wooooow~~~
sentimental! he kept them instead !!
reddevilsGO: he's this kind of person, it seems...
dancinmachin: man i really hope he washed them first
sixteenth_notes: seems like he's more old-fashioned than mature
romantickungfupandataozi: ill be EXTRA EXTRA nice to duizhang tommorow!!!
reddevilsGO: no don't!!! we cant let him know we peeked thru his stuff
he'll get suspicious!
huoguohungry: good point
dancinmachin: aaahhh things are getting really interesting now!!
ill look for more interesting things :D
reddevilsGO: :D
fearless chen!!
dancinmachin: i know ;D
sixteenth_notes: it's too bad we can't reveal secrets like this during interviews
reddevilsGO: LOL
but the death note, the death note!!!
huoguohungry: hahah
romantickungfupandataozi: with great power comes great
huoguohungry: responsibility kk
reddevilsGO: responsibility^^
romantickungfupandataozi: responsibilty
sixteenth_notes: good effort
romantickungfupandataozi: thank you
sixteenth_notes: "thahnk you"
reddevilsGO: hahaha!!
zitao's korean has gotten so much better
romantickungfupandataozi: :)
huoguohungry: and what about my mandarin!!
sixteenth_notes: your skill is increasing steadily, unlike your height
huoguohungry: MEAN
watch me grow taller than you next year! kekeke
sixteenth_notes: okay, I'm anticipating~
reddevilsGO: haha just get higher shoe lifts??
huoguohungry: they're already quite high T___T
tao, give hyung your legs
and your butt T_T;;
please and thank you
romantickungfupandataozi: but theire expensive~~~
can you afford them!!~~
reddevilsGO: but minseokie's butt is already super cute!! ^^
dancinmachin: CAU

dancinmachin has logged out.

reddevilsGO: ?? what happened ??
huoguohungry: i don't know......
did you hear something?? i think that was jongdae's voice

emperorwu has logged on.

reddevilsGO: AHH
reddevilsGO has logged out.
huoguohungry has logged out.
romantickungfupandataozi has logged out.

emperorwu has added sixteenth_notes to the conversation.

emperorwu: good evening
sixteenth_notes: yes, hello
i'm going to log out now
emperorwu: fine. i'll be easier to talk to you all in person anyway.
living room. now

emperorwu has logged out.
romantickungfupandataozi has logged on.

romantickungfupandataozi has been added to the conversation.

sixteenth_notes: did you go invisible?
romantickungfupandataozi: yeah
are we in troubel
sixteenth_notes: it'll be okay
he's the person who has your old underwear in a drawer
he holds more shame
romantickungfupandataozi: lets just get him nice clothes for his birthday
REALY nice clothes
sixteenth_notes: okay
we should also probably promise not to go through his things without permission
i think he'd probably apprecaite that more than clothes
romantickungfupandataozi: do you think jd found my eyliner
Tags: exo, exo m, g, no pairing
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