PS. this takes place in China, so the room arrangements are Chen & Kris, Lu Han & Lay, Xiumin & Tao. The handle names will make sense if you are as obsessed with EXO-M as I currently am, so..... they probably won't make sense. OTL it's easy to figure out though!!
Fandom: EXO (EXO-M)
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reddevilsGO: is he asleep??
reddevilsGO: did u double check? smtms he'll just have his eyes closed the faker
how do i check...
reddevilsGO: if u mess with his face cream bottles. make noise!!!
dancinmachin: do i look like i wanna die!
i'm not doing that!!
reddevilsGO: yes do it!!!
dancinmachin: what if i just blew on his face or something?
or farted in his face kukuku
reddevilsGO: oh!!! fearless!!!
sixteenth_notes: alternatively, you can call his name
reddevilsGO: no omg what if he is asleep but he wakes up!
sixteenth_notes: he probably won't wake up
just don't be too loud, don't scare him awake
is that okay?
dancinmachin: uhhhhh hmmmm
reddevilsGO: or lets just wait until he starts sleeptalking?
minseok n tao arent online yet either
sixteenth_notes: should I give them a call? or knock on their door?
dancinmachin: lol call them
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romantickungfupandataozi: is duizhang asleep
reddevilsGO: we dont know! jd wont check
romantickungfupandataozi: what if he is faeking
reddevilsGO: thats what i said!!
romantickungfupandataozi: bc sumetimes he faeks to avoid work
dancinmachin: he's asleep!!! i'm STARING at him. he's asleep
huoguohungry: you should call his name?
sixteenth_notes: that's what I said
dancinmachin: ok FINE
reddevilsGO: no wait!
think of a lie first, if he asks why u woke him up
huoguohungry: did he die? did kris kill him?
sixteenth_notes: he's probably talking to him now. lu's right, should have thought of a lie first
tao, maybe you can put your ear to the wall? see if you can hear voices
he climbed over me
and kneed my keyboard
reddevilsGO: wait but tao's bed is the one next to the right wall
hugging practise again?
huoguohungry: yoga actually TT__TT
were watching vids on tudou demonstrating rly hard poses
it's painful~~ ;A;
sixteenth_notes: you should start at an easier level
tao's too flexible
his bones are made of elastic
remember the time when vic unnie was teaching him how to do the splits
and his pants ripped bc he went too far~
huoguohungry: i remember that!
wasn't he wearing leopard print underwear??
reddevilsGO: YES LOL
sixteenth_notes: he told me once nice underwear makes his butt feel "richer"
i assume he meant "more comfortable"
huoguohungry: he does have a nice butt :(
i'm looking at it right now and it is nice kk
what type underwear
huoguohungry: CK black
huoguohungry: and he can hear voices btw
he's diligently listening in with a cup
reddevilsGO: see!!! faking!!!!!!
sixteenth_notes: maybe jongdae did accidentally wake him up
huoguohungry: tao says "they're talking about fan presents
reddevilsGO: omg??? hes gonna give us away!!!!
sixteenth_notes: ah? he'll give us away
huoguohungry: oh, it stopped?
huoguohungry: the conversation stopped apparntklajfslkkjkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
he climbed over me again
romantickungfupandataozi: they were talkin about fan prezent
huoguohungry: i told them already
romantickungfupandataozi: i dint get all of it
they were talking to fast :( :(
reddevilsGO: aw yeah we shouldve asked minseokie to listen
reddevilsGO: did u give us away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dancinmachin: a really awkward talk
sixteenth_notes: does he suspect anything?
dancinmachin: it was very awkward
huoguohungry: why did you talk about presents, you idiot!! now he'll guess what we're up to!
dancinmachin: i had to improvise on the spot!! its' not my strong suit
huoguohungry: not your strong suit?? you're lead singer!
dancinmachin: i'm not LEAD TALKER you bastards
okay but i dont think he suspects ?
he was just about asleep when i woke him up :T
dancinmachin: not my fault!!!!!!!
sixteenth_notes: what did he say?
dancinmachin: i was like, 'hyung, i was just wondering, what's ur fav kind of fan present?'
TO GET HINTS, RIGHT
huoguohungry: ooooohhh not bad not bad
dancinmachin: BUT he gave me a really strange look
and said all fan presents were good in their own way
reddevilsGO: wahhh cop out
dancinmachin: and i was like 'ahhhh...okay' sry for disturbign you
and then he went all 'we shoudl be thankful for all the gifts we get'
i am though!!
huoguohungry: dw we know you are
dancinmachin: now he thinks im shallow??
sixteenth_notes: no no, he doesn't
romantickungfupandataozi: but why does he talk liek that
is he saying he lieks getting junkfood gifts as much as getting toys
when we'r not even alloud to eat the food
sixteenth_notes: he says those things because he actually believes cheesy stuff like that
especially considering how many gifts he gets
huoguohungry: woooow~~ that's cool
dancinmachin: cool cool
sixteenth_notes: if you think about it he's being stupid with that answer though
you can apprecaite all the gifts equally
but like some things more than others. that's a normal aspect of humanity
nothing to be ashamed of -- and he doesn't need to be neutral in private
reddevilsGO: yixing!! so cool! ^^
huoguohungry: very cool
romantickungfupandataozi: PLUSHY GIFTS R THE BEST THO???
huoguohungry: i like the art best actually!~~
dancinmachin: i like the handmade crafts.. like when they make keychains
romantickungfupandataozi: ................. but th eplushys
DUIZHANG LIKES THEM TO!
lets just get him some plushys!
huoguohungry: is he asleep again? jongdaenim~
dancinmachin: i'm not calling his name again. lets just talk in the living room!!!
reddevilsGO: no he'll hear! the walls r too thin
and what if he wakes up to go pee
dancinmachin: you guys' room then, it's far enough away
reddevilsGO: and sees us all gathered together
huoguohungry: we can avoid your bed keke
reddevilsGO: huang zitao wont!
romantickungfupandataozi: i wont hahah
sixteenth_notes: if we keep our voices low we can go to the living room
reddevilsGO: but jongdae was supposed to snoop around leader's desk!
dancinmachin: i don't remember signing up to do that !!!
but only because!
i want to find out
what he writes in his lyric notebook
no way they're actual lyrics
sixteenth_notes: you really are fearless
romantickungfupandataozi: wait y not
huoguohungry: jongdae thinks he practises drawing in there
romantickungfupandataozi: the black one?
dancinmachin: the strokes of his hand when he writes in that thing!!! are not writing strokes!
yeh the black book, with the band around it
huoguohungry: how did you even notice that in the first place??
dancinmachin: i saw him laughing at himself once
and when he saw me laughing, he put the book away
reddevilsGO: omg whattt now i wanna know too!!~
sixteenth_notes: maybe it's a death note
we're all doomed in that case??
duizhang wuldnt kill me!!1
reddevilsGO: u first, maknae... bwahaha >:)
romantickungfupandataozi: no :((((((((((( why i'm to goodlooking to die
huoguohungry: jd go find that notebook!
reddevilsGO: but don't forget the number 1 priority is to get ideas for bday gifts!
dancinmachin: if it's a death note i'm keeping it
youre all dead tmr hehe
sixteenth_notes: i really think we should just get him clothes or jewelery
dancinmachin: i'm going solo kkkkkkk
sixteenth_notes: he's not going to be picky
romantickungfupandataozi: youd kill me too?!?! hyung!!
huoguohungry: boyz II chen~
reddevilsGO: clothes and whatever are boring tho~
that's good, i'm gonna use that
sixteenth_notes: maybe we can get kris a CD. I know he likes american rap
dancinmachin: .....kanye west?
sixteenth_notes: maybe. i can't really remember...
reddevilsGO: chenchen can u find his ipod?
or maybe check his stack of english books, find a favourite author or smth
romantickungfupandataozi: im going to b extra nice to duizhang tommorow
dancinmachin: that's hard!! i can't read english very well
reddevilsGO: just match the letters! youll be fine~
dancinmachin: you come and do it then!
reddevilsGO: no :( im too scared
what if he wakes up and catches me
dancinmachin: what if he catches ME!!!
reddevilsGO: you can make up smth and be like 'i lost my lip chap and thought maybe i could borrow one of yours'
u share a room!
u have a reason to be in there!~ ^^
huoguohungry: you're a very good liar luhannie
sixteenth_notes: i disagree
he can make up lies in his head
but can't deliver them
he always starts laughing
reddevilsGO: but youre wrong bc actually im a great liar~ n___nV
huoguohungry: because your face is so innocent!! i'd believe anything you said!
reddevilsGO: <3 see! :P
huoguohungry: i hope you've never lied to me however! :(
reddevilsGO: of course not~ id never lie to you~ <3
romantickungfupandataozi: you aer lying now!!!!!!!!!!
reddevilsGO: big talk! ur the biggest liar here huang zitao!
romantickungfupandataozi: what i'm not!!!
sixteenth_notes: i've yet to see you play an honest game of trivia
dancinmachin: IF ANYONE CARES I'M GOING ON MY MISSION NOW
I'M THE ONLY ONE W BALLS IN THIS GROUP U COWARDS
huoguohungry: good luck little soldier
sixteenth_notes: i suggested getting clothes...
chenzi~ jia you~~
dancinmachin: wow so no one is goign to stop me? !!!
screw you dicks haha
romantickungfupandataozi: hyung if you find a black eyliner, that's mine
and i want it back
dancinmachin's status has been set to brb.
huoguohungry: you guys share eyeliner?? i don't think that's sanitary
sixteenth_notes: i hope you wipe it with alochol before using it
romantickungfupandataozi: it's new!!! duizhang stole it from me!!!
i got it from a coordi noona
reddevilsGO: ooh, what about makeup? makeup can be a good birthday present!
huoguohungry: .... i don't think it'd be a very original present....
reddevilsGO: i mean, besides bb cream, since he already has so much of that
huoguohungry: we should get him something that's not easily obtainable from the company
sixteenth_notes: more sleep, in that case
we are not miracle workers............
huoguohungry: what if you ask manager to clear our schedule on the 6th??
huoguohungry: haha........... .......
sixteenth_notes: if I ever do, I want you all to remember me fondly and with great respect, thank you very much
reddevilsGO: of course we will!!!!!
but don't ask please. there are better ways for a man to die
dancinmachin's status has been set to online.
dancinmachin: AAHHH HAHA
GUESS WHAT I FOUDN
reddevilsGO: woah what????
dancinmachin: leopard-print briefs HA
dancinmachin: lol yeah they were in one of his DESK DRAWERS like wtf right? hahaha
romantickungfupandataozi: is that where those got too
romantickungfupandataozi: i was wonderang
sixteenth_notes: please explain this one, i'm very curious
huoguohungry: no, zitao. those are tao's pants
ew i touched them!!!!
romantickungfupandataozi: i lost them like last month
idk how they got to leader's desk drawrr
he can have them
there's a hoel in the
reddevilsGO: omg why does duizhang have them???
romantickungfupandataozi: i dont kno
huoguohungry: maybe he found them with his laundry and just keeps on forgetting to give them back?
reddevilsGO: oh maybe!
dancinmachin: you two are so optimistic. gutsy, gutsy
sixteenth_notes: hold on
what else was in that drawer, jongdae?
dancinmachin: bandanas... gloves... scarves?? some empty package wrapping? some letters... i didn't touch those!
it was a mess
reddevilsGO: this is in a drawer of his DESK? what the
dancinmachin: well our closet is full
this was the bottommost drawer in his desk
don't think he uses it much
that's why i opened it first hah
sixteenth_notes: it's his junk drawer
it must be his junk drawer
huoguohungry: for stuff he doesn't want to throw out?
if you guys haven't noticed yet...
he's a hoarder
romantickungfupandataozi: HoarDer?? what is that in chinese
reddevilsGO: it means he can't bear to throw away things!!! like your holey underwear!
huoguohungry: wait, is he planning to fix them or something? stitch them up?
reddevilsGO: no! he doens't care about the holes! he keeps them for nostalgia and stuff!!!
romantickungfupandataozi: why didnt he ask me
i could buy him a new pair
huoguohungry: underwear for his birthday? LOL
actually that's not a terrible idea
sixteenth_notes: I suggested clothes. are my IMs not showing up?
reddevilsGO: they are
maybe we should get him something nostalgic too
a photo album??
huoguohungry: his birthday's in two days! where are we going to find time to make a photo album for him???
dancinmachin: i can take some pics right now of him sleeping heh
reddevilsGO: :< i dont know ok
sixteenth_notes: I guess he must have kept tao's underwear because it reminds him of trainee days.
tao was very proud of that underwear
he boasted about that underwear
reddevilsGO: i remember~
dancinmachin: what's so great about that underwear??
romantickungfupandataozi: they were
one of the first things i bought with my oan incomme
100% hand made cotten!!!
they were very comfortabel~
huoguohungry: still, it's a bit weird, isn't it?
keeping a member's underwear in a drawer........
without the member knowing
romantickungfupandataozi: i think i remember him scolding me
to do my landry??
and i dint want to bc my waist hurt
so he did it for me\ TT
maybe he asked me if i wanted to throw them out but i wasnt payin attntion TT
sentimental! he kept them instead !!
reddevilsGO: he's this kind of person, it seems...
dancinmachin: man i really hope he washed them first
sixteenth_notes: seems like he's more old-fashioned than mature
romantickungfupandataozi: ill be EXTRA EXTRA nice to duizhang tommorow!!!
reddevilsGO: no don't!!! we cant let him know we peeked thru his stuff
he'll get suspicious!
huoguohungry: good point
dancinmachin: aaahhh things are getting really interesting now!!
ill look for more interesting things :D
dancinmachin: i know ;D
sixteenth_notes: it's too bad we can't reveal secrets like this during interviews
but the death note, the death note!!!
romantickungfupandataozi: with great power comes great
huoguohungry: responsibility kk
sixteenth_notes: good effort
romantickungfupandataozi: thank you
sixteenth_notes: "thahnk you"
zitao's korean has gotten so much better
huoguohungry: and what about my mandarin!!
sixteenth_notes: your skill is increasing steadily, unlike your height
watch me grow taller than you next year! kekeke
sixteenth_notes: okay, I'm anticipating~
reddevilsGO: haha just get higher shoe lifts??
huoguohungry: they're already quite high T___T
tao, give hyung your legs
and your butt T_T;;
please and thank you
romantickungfupandataozi: but theire expensive~~~
can you afford them!!~~
reddevilsGO: but minseokie's butt is already super cute!! ^^
dancinmachin has logged out.
reddevilsGO: ?? what happened ??
huoguohungry: i don't know......
did you hear something?? i think that was jongdae's voice
emperorwu has logged on.
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emperorwu has added sixteenth_notes to the conversation.
emperorwu: good evening
sixteenth_notes: yes, hello
i'm going to log out now
emperorwu: fine. i'll be easier to talk to you all in person anyway.
living room. now
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sixteenth_notes: did you go invisible?
are we in troubel
sixteenth_notes: it'll be okay
he's the person who has your old underwear in a drawer
he holds more shame
romantickungfupandataozi: lets just get him nice clothes for his birthday
REALY nice clothes
we should also probably promise not to go through his things without permission
i think he'd probably apprecaite that more than clothes
romantickungfupandataozi: do you think jd found my eyliner